Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Is it really him in there?

I’m not really sure how to handle this so I am keeping as quiet as I can about the whole thing hoping it will somehow go away.

Last Friday Daryl picked up the Pug’s ashes from the vet. Yes, we have a little shrine in our living room with Pug’s ashes and pictures and other items from the dog. What am I going to do about this? To me it’s like we have a funeral home for an animal in our house. My philosophy is just plain simple. When something dies you bury it!

In the back of my mind I thought this was going to happen, but I was in big time denial. He is always bringing home something from a former resident of the nursing home that he works at “Martha made these coasters with her own two hands and her family wanted me to have them.”, so we end up with Martha’s coasters on the coffee table. We have all kinds of stuff like that lying around. Doesn’t anyone believe in leaving behind cash anymore?

Daryl has been pretty sensitive about the subject of his dog’s death and I don’t want to upset him. That leads me to another sensitive subject came up last night. Is it really Pug in the box? Charlene (Daryl’s daughter- in- law & power outage victim guest) had to open her big mouth and bring up something that I was trying to avoid. Apparently if you don’t request it, the remains of your animal and others are all cremated together. My friend Jeff had told me about this and I thought it best not to bring it up to Daryl. Jeff had been through dead dog crisis two years ago when his boyfriend Kerry’s dog (Chas is stored somewhere in a box in their basement.), passed away. I know that the discussion really bothered Daryl , but he is the queen of denial and he just shrugged it off and said " It's Pug and I don't want to talk about it anymore."

I have been thinking about an idea and I would like some feedback. I’m not a complete heartless bitch you know, I do understand that he really cared about the dog and needs some grieving time. I thought that after a while I would suggest that we buy some sort of headstone type rock thing with Pug’s name on it. Then instead of him sitting around the house collecting dust or eventually ending up in a closet, we could put him to rest in the back yard. The ashes are pretty well sealed, so I thought if we ever had to move and he wanted to take him along it would be a fairly simple process of digging him up. Is it a good plan? Should I just start facing the fact that I’m going to have dead dog ashes in my living room?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

we have always buried our pets on our property.3 dogs out at the farm and my grandmother has 4 buried in her backyard as well.it just really sucks to dig the grave...hang in there with daryls sensitivity, it takes time...

4:53 PM  
Blogger Scott in Iowa said...

In 2000 I lost Andy. I got him as a puppy and had him for 13 years. His death was sudden and unexpected. I still miss him today. I had him creamated and I burried his ashes in a flower garden in the front yard where I lived at the time. I sold the house and moved in the middle of a really nasty, cold winter when the ground was too frozen to take Andy with me. I still regret leaving him there. To you it may be just a small box on the mantle, but for Daryl it's a lost member of the family. I guess my vote would be for Pug to be there as long as Daryl wants him there.

9:27 PM  
Blogger TheBuxStopHere said...

Tom-

I agree with Scott and say that Pug needs to stay whereever it makes Daryl comfy until it's time to do something (if that ever comes) else with Pug. My folks creamated our family pet and his ashes were sealed in a very nice sealed box-that can't be opened. It doesn't have a sign or anything that says "Dead Dog" or anything-it's very tasteful. It sit in my parents office next to a framed copy of "The Rainbow Bridge" http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm ---which if you've never read or don't understand how someone can be so close to a pet---read it and you'll understand. Hope that helps.

1:47 PM  
Blogger Tom said...

Thanks Sue, Scott and Andrew. I will let it rest. He did find a container that he has the ashes in now. I think it looks more tasteful. I guess I can live with that.

8:32 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home