Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Bullies

I was lucky. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had to go to high school today. I was very insecure and a sensitive kid, so I know I wouldn't have been able to handle the type of harassment some of these openly gay students have to endure. I think I may have ended up being one of those statistics on teen suicide you see in the newspaper and magazines.

It's not like my high school didn't have its share of bullies. In fact, I remember one kid that had to endure a lot of pain because he couldn't pass as the rest of us did...or thought we did.

Ramsey Decker was the stereotypical nerd. He just didn't fit in. He wore dark thick glasses that had been taped in the middle after being broken. He didn’t wear the right clothes, say the right things and did everything in a "funny" sort of way. He was unique and in our small minds we thought that was abnormal.

People started calling him queer, faggot and what ever else they could think of. He was punched, pushed, kicked and spat at. I remember this happening to him day after day. This really saddens me when I think about it and the fact that I was one of those people that just stood around and did nothing but laugh. Fortunately for Ramsey he was brave enough one day to fight back. It wasn't a long battle, but it was enough to stop the bullies from continuing to physically assault him. We all know bullies always pick on people they think won't fight back.

After that Ramsey sort of embraced who he was. He still was teased of course, but he would counter act it with some self deprecating humor. He would openly talk about what guys he would like to go out with how and he couldn't wait to finish school so he could move to San Francisco and find himself a man.

I think Ramsey was the first openly gay person in our school. At the time I didn't even know what coming out meant and I certainly wouldn't have wanted to do that even if I had been sure of my feelings at the time. All we thought was that being gay was perverted and how we had to stay away from “those” people.

I'm not sure what became of Ramsey Decker. He graduated with my sister and I know that he has never responded to any request for information they sent out for their class reunions. My hope is that he did move to San Francisco and find a man. I would like to think that Ramsey not only found a man, but also found many friends and a place that he was safe to live and be himself.

The Cedar Rapids Gazette

• The proposed safe Schools’’ anti-bullying bill being considered by the Iowa Legislature would prohibit the harassment and bullying of students, based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, age, color, creed, national origin, race, religion, marital status, sex, physical attributes, physical or mental ability or disability, ancestry, political belief, socioeconomic or familial status.
• The proposed ‘‘Safe Schools’’ anti-bullying bill being considered by the Iowa Legislature would prohibit the harassment and bullying of students, based on their sexual orientation, gender identity, age, color, creed, national origin, race, religion, marital status, sex, physical attributes, physical or mental ability or disability, ancestry, political belief, socioeconomic or familial status.

'' Nobody would choose to be treated like I am. '' Robert Perrin-Hayes North Tama High School senior

1 Comments:

Blogger Darth Gateau said...

I was never really bullied at school although there was some potential there. I decided that I'd take anyone who tried down in flames with me and people pretty much left me alone after a couple of attempts. I'm lucky tho as I'm mouthy and able to express how I feel quickly and, when required, harshly. Quieter, shyer people suffer shocking treatment and it makes my blood boil that I can't speak on behalf of all of them all of the time.

3:22 AM  

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